Heartbroken

There are so many thoughts I have been having and I haven’t been sure where to begin. I suppose composing this as an open letter to cancer is the best way to go.

Dear Cancer,

I could sit here and tell you that you suck, that you suck beyond belief but I think you already probably know that. People tell you that, endlessly, I have no doubt. And yes, the damage you cause is felt most painfully by those who are your victims but the suffering is much wider spread than that. The pain that ripples through the extremely wide net of family and friends of the person so young and so good at heart that they just can’t believe you chose him as your latest casualty. You acted so quickly, you gave no one time to even really figure out what you were doing and you gave them no time to plan for what was to be left behind in your wake including children who will have limited memories of the man that was their father. What about the daughter whose mother has been bravely fighting you off for years who has had to watch her sweet, patient mother turn into an angry, agitated shell of the woman she used to be. That daughter’s father grasping for any sense of normalcy that used to exist in their relationship only to find the woman he spent his life with changed completely. Did you have any idea of the rippling consequences of your actions? Dare I mention the young woman who spent her teenage years winning her battle with you only to have her childbearing years put on hold while you ravaged her again? She finally thought she was in the clear when you decided to strike during the latter part of her pregnancy putting not only her life but the life of her unborn child at risk. The fear that she felt must have been agonizing until the moment they put a healthy baby in her arms. What is even worse though is the continuing fear she will have to deal with knowing that you could, at any moment return and steal you away from the children that she fought so hard to be able to bring into this world.

I have cried many, many tears at the hands of you, cancer, and frankly I live in gross fear of you. I will take whatever precautions I can but no one can completely escape your complete lack of sympathy. You do not discriminate by age, sex or race. You pick and choose your victims, whether they win or lose, and how many times they must battle you and it is completely unfair. I can only hope that with continued research we can find a way to stop you in your tracks. Until then you will continue to strike fear in the hearts of everyone and your sorrow will be widely shared. Please know that I will be doing everything in my power to help ease the pain you cause to others while helping to fund the research to stop you. You are on my list cancer, so you better watch yourself.

Karen