Failure in my own mind

So I would have loved to come on here and report that I had this awesome, amazing run this morning that inspired and motivated me even more towards my marathon, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. I've been wrestling a bit with the silly notion that I failed somehow but this is, of course, ridiculous. My problem is that I set my expectations too high. My benefit is that I'm smart enough to make decisions that may keep me from meeting my ridiculous expectations while saving me from something potentially worse.

When I headed out very early this morning it was snowing and pretty handily. I decided I'd give it a go and see how far I could get. Much to my delight the snow stopped sometime after I completed my first mile. I was good to go and did for quite some time. I was feeling good. I gloriously reached, ascended, crossed and returned back over the Woodrow Wilson Bridge and was still feeling strong as the snow started to fall again. It got heavy as I was descending back into Old Town Alexandria. No matter what direction I faced the snow was drenching my face and clothes. I saw it starting to collect on the sidewalks so I ducked into a parking garage and made an executive decision. Do I continue knowing that the wood plank sections of the Mount Vernon Trail ahead would be frozen and slippery? Knowing that the more wet I got the colder I would get? Or do I make the call and end it before I reached an area where being picked up would be difficult? Before I potentially slip and injure myself putting me out of commission for the marathon all together? I made the call. Jake headed down to come pick me up and I jogged up to meet him at Route 1 and King Street. Of course by the time he arrived the snow had already begun to die down. It stopped completely by the time I was home and eating breakfast. My final total was 14.5 miles. I could have easily pushed through the last 5.5 had conditions been better and after the fact I felt foolish for stopping. I have since some to my senses and know I made the right decision. And this is why I'm so happy with my training plan. I still have plenty of chances to cover that kind of distance when the circumstances are better for it.

I can't seem to get over why I felt like a failure this morning. 14.5 miles is absolutely nothing to scoff at, it is a lot of distance. Heck, I started in Virginia but crossed political boundaries of both Maryland and DC along the way. I should be very proud of what I did and proud of myself for making the right decision. I could go back out now that it's sunny (argh!) and finish the last 5.5 miles but I know it's smarter to rest. There's plenty of time for more distance in the coming week. I am committed to my training but I am not obsessed. I'm human and it's natural to be disappointed in yourself when you expect more. In this case I've made the disappointment fleeting and simply look forward to my next run. And Jake was rewarded for yet again being my hero of the day with a delicious Cinnabon! Image source